Emily Rollings

100 Things : A reflection

BlogEmily Rollings

Today is the 15th February 2015, five years since the day I met Dan and the end date of my 100 things challenge.

First up I should say that I haven't documented these 'things' nearly as much as I intended (or promised) to on this blog, and secondly I haven't completed the list, not even nearly. The grand total is 50. Half way. Not what I had planned, but I'll take that. It's a noble effort.

If you'd have said to me, when I started this challenge back in 2012, that I would only make it 50% of the way through, the over-achieving part of me would have been a bit horrified. Very few of these things are truly difficult or in the lap of the Gods, it's just a matter of will power and I guess that's what I've learnt above all else: if there's a will there's a way. I knew that already, but something about watching this manifest itself in such a tangible way has finally made it sink in, and it is surprisingly refreshing.

When I scan through the list it's ironic that the things I was nervous to include; buying a house, starting a business, launching my shop, were all things that I completed. All the things that are left are quite small really, nothing daunting at all, although a few are not pregnancy friendly so I'll have to hold off for a few months at least! What I realise is that everything on the list that I completed happened either by 'accident' because it was genuinely something I wanted to spend my time doing and therefore happened incidentally, or something that mattered so fiercely that I made sure it happened (see house, business, shop). I was listening to Gretchen Rubin talking about The Happiness Project and she observed that when it comes to how we spend our time it all comes down to priorities. So I guess I can look at my completed items as my real priorities, which as it turns out, I'm ok with. That's not to say I don't want to do all the other things on the list, or that I'll stop now.

So as for my reason for starting this project? Well if you remember I was feeling stuck, not where I wanted to be, like I knew what I wanted but I didn't know how to get there. For some reason I thought that creating this list of mostly small achievements might in some way help me move nearer to the dream. Well it totally worked. As to whether the list is responsible for the career change, business launch, house renovation, I don't know. I guess it's more complicated than that but the bottom line is this. If you'd have asked me to describe the life I was dreaming of back in 2012, it would have been this: the life I am living right now at the beginning of 2015. So something worked and as it turns out it might not be totally down to chance. I was watching Brene Brown talking about creativity last week, and amongst the gold dust that that woman offers with ever breath, was something I had never known or even thought about before: if you want to turn something you know into something you feel, the only way to do that is through creativity - ie you know when you intellectually know something but you can't really feel it in your heart, creativity is the only way to move it from one place to the other. So maybe my little list was not such a co-incidence after all.

In summary, I will try and complete the list. These are all things I genuinely wanted to do, so just because 'my time is up' doesn't mean I'll stop. Whether I finish it or not I am genuinely thankful to my little list for any small (or large) part it took in helping me reach this place that I feel so grateful to be in now. I also learnt this: time is NEVER the reason you don't do something - just stop watching TV, and finally whether your daily routine requires you to be creative all the time or never at all, find some space in your life to create. Make something, bake something, invent something. It will change your life for the better.

If you want to check out my list, you can find it here.